Negotiating Without Freaking Out

(Yes, You Can) + New gig alert!

Hey Freelancing Females ✨

Let’s be honest for a sec: negotiation? It’s terrifying. I remember my first client call where I had to quote my rate. My hands were sweating, my voice squeaked, and I’m pretty sure I sounded like my dog when he stands on something sharp.

Fast forward a few years, and I’ve learned a few things that make it… slightly less terrifying. Negotiation isn’t about being aggressive; it’s about knowing your worth and having the courage to say it out loud, even when your brain screams, “What if they say no?!”

Here’s what I’ve learned from managing my business:

Know Your Numbers (Without Obsessing Over Them)

Before a conversation, figure out your minimum rate and your “dream rate.” Think of it like packing snacks for a hike; you may not need them, but they give you confidence to keep going.

I’ve had clients who push back on my numbers, and at first, I panicked. Then I realized: if I know my bottom line, I don’t have to negotiate in a panic; I negotiate with purpose.

Talk About Impact, Not Hours

When I first started freelancing, I’d explain my hourly rate. The client would nod, and I’d feel like I’d just handed them my soul. Then I learned to flip the script: talk about results.

Instead of “I charge $X/hour,” I now say, “I help you do X, which leads to Y outcome, so my fee is Z.” Suddenly, it’s not about money, it’s about value. You’ll feel better, the client will feel more confident. It’s a win-win.

Embrace the Awkward Silence

Here’s a funny thing: humans hate silence. So when you quote your rate, and the client goes quiet, resist the urge to ramble. They’re thinking. Trust me, the silence is your friend.

I still get twitchy sometimes, but counting silently to three before responding has saved me from sounding desperate more times than I can count.

Bundles > Discounts

Nothing makes me cringe more than seeing talented women automatically lower their rates. Instead of a discount, bundle your services. Offer more, show the value, and clients usually feel like they’re getting a deal, without you selling yourself short.

One time, a client balked at my initial proposal. I offered a small bundle, and not only did they accept, they came back for more work later. It feels so much better than slashing your rate out of fear.

It’s Okay to Say No

Here’s a hard truth: saying no is powerful. I used to fear it like my entire self-worth hung in the balance, but now I see it as part of negotiation. If a project doesn’t feel right or the budget isn’t fair, declining respectfully is okay.

Sometimes, saying no even earns respect. People notice when you value your work and yourself.

Negotiation isn’t scary. It’s human. It’s messy. Sometimes you sweat, sometimes you fumble, sometimes it feels like the client is judging every word, but every time you do it, it gets easier.

This week, pick one client or proposal and practice two things: lead with your value and embrace silence. Watch how it changes the conversation and your confidence.

You’ve got this. Even if your hands shake a little, even if your voice squeaks like mine. Trust me, you’re worth every penny.

Sara 💖

🎀 Freelance Digital Illustrator: Lifelines is on the lookout for freelance illustrators who love creating bold, beautiful vector artwork in Adobe Illustrator. After spending 30 years sparking wonder and self-discovery in children through play, Melissa and Doug created Lifelines to unlock creativity for tweens, teens, and adults, so they too can find their path to calm and joy. Email your application to: ariana@lifelines.com

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✨ This week in the FF membership Izzy, the founder of House of Wynn, is running a workshop on how to build a brand world. Use code ‘SUBSTACK’ at checkout for 20% off.

🌞 Second Degree Society x Freelancing Females are doing an event IRL! Join us at Saturday March21 from 10 to 12pm at The Radiator in Denver for curated connections, light bites, coffee, and meaningful networking, $10 or free for members. Join us for free using code MILEHIGHMEETCUTE. Find out more here.